February 11: The Tough Love Matrix

Research has shown that children who experience tough love have higher well-being and better academic performance.

Source: Adam Grant
Published: December 2020

The Tough Love Matrix

Organizational psychologist Adam Grant identified a critical skill for both parenting and leadership: tough love. Research has shown that children who experience tough love have higher well-being and better academic performance.

Great leaders and parents show tough love by insisting on high standards while maintaining strong personal relationships. Using his matrix of parenting and leadership, Grant explains tough love comes from balanced levels of expectations and care.

The Tough Love Matrix of Leadership and Parenting:

Low Expectations:
Low care level: Laissez-faire
High care level: Supportive

High Expectations:
Low care level: Demanding
High care level: Inspiring

Bonus: For further reading, see Kim Scott’s Radical Candor framework.

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